Latest posts by Leanda Lewis (see all)
- How You Can Challenge Fatphobia - August 27, 2018
- The Worst Fat Phobic Comments - August 12, 2018
- How To Deal With Weight Concern From Friends and Family - July 31, 2018
This is a tricky one, isn’t it? How do we deal with weight concern from those closest to us? If we are super lucky our friends and family love us and want the best for us, however what happens when they make your weight a priority or a topic of concern?
- It can lead to stress which as we know isn’t very healthy for us at all.
- It can lead to anxiety, perhaps causing us to avoid eating in front of them, or lying about what we eat.
- Weight concern from close ones can harm the relationship we have with them.
- It can damage how we view ourselves.
- Your kids (if you have them) are usually in ear shot and hearing comments about weight concern can in turn lead to them having negative feelings about their own weight or self image.
Let’s get some shit out the way up front. No one not one single person gets to tell you your worth. It’s not measured by your ass size, or how “clean” you eat. Or how many sweaty gym sessions you’ve done. You’re not in competition with your sister Barb or that new mum (who got thin really fast after having little Joshy and wants to tell you how). You don’t owe them thinness. Or even trying for thinness.
Here are some techniques that I’ve used over the years with well meaning to my friends and family…
- Get up and leave the room. Just straight up take your ass away from their weight concern and go do something else.
- Talk about yourself kindly and share your achievements.
- Dress in a way that makes you happy.
- Eat. Join in eating, order first, have dessert and don’t say sorry by abstaining.
- Casually mention that you’re fat in conversation (I do understand there are varying degrees of how comfy we are with this) it can be so empowering to just be like, ‘HEY I’M FAT WE ALL KNOW IT, I KNOW IT, CAN WE JUST WATCH CATCHPHRASE AND ARGUE WITH UNCLE TOM ABOUT HIS DISGUSTING POLITICAL VIEWS, UNTILL WE’RE ALL READY TO LEAVE.’
- Tell them. It’s hard and can be really scary but look them dead in the eye and say “I’m not interested in talking about something so arbitrary can we discuss (insert latest hobby/achievement/escapade here).
- DON’T BE SORRY. Don’t be girl, it’s so easy to hunker, back off, and join slimming club. Because your friends and family love you and think it’s ok to always bring it up subtly or otherwise. It’s not, it’s not helpful or their job to police your life. It’s ok to just smile and change the subject.
You don’t need fixing. You got this.