Leanda Lewis


Child raising, husband having, veggie, feminist, sci fi loving foul mouth gin swiller. I design jewellery too!

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Clothes Shopping When Fat

Why is it fat woman aren’t encouraged to dress themselves nicely? The last 18 years of me dressing myself have been depressingly shite. I don’t fit into the clothes a lot of  standard shops, and vintage retailers (the expensive ones) only go up to a small 18 if you’re lucky. And I’m sick of it. I find nice things, they don’t fit properly so I make do.
Why can’t I eat cake and drink wine and be rambunctious and sensual and take up space? Why do TV and and the media and shops assume fat people don’t like themselves enough to dress nicely?
I’ll tell you why – because society doesn’t encourage woman to like their bodies or their looks. We are held to unachievable standards encouraged by white, slim, able, fresh faced 18 year olds smiling out from every magazine and poster to try and buy society’s crap and achieve face/body nirvana, because God help if you look tired or fat or (said in a low whisper) old.


Women are old
Women are fat
Women are over 6 foot
Women are “blokey”
Women have rough edges and like manly things
I won’t diminish myself and take up less space than I am due.
I won’t bow and scrape and hide and agree with your health “concern” because, unless you’re a medical doctor with access to my records, you’re just a Google medic and can actually fuck off. I don’t care for your bullshit society not one bit.
Represent me on billboards, magazines and TV. Make me the love interest, take me seriously as a person with agency. Accept that my body IS a summer body. It is  In fact (and this may surprise you) a summer, autumn and a fucking winter one too. All season it’s an all season body, that deserves love, respect, self worth and a fucking shirt from a high end retailer and a pair of decent fitting trousers that don’t make me think of when sausage meat spills out of its case. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again and again until someone listens: I’M FAT AND I HAVE MONEY. Make me some fucking clothes that fit and aren’t tents and billowing. And sorry. Stop pretending there is only one way to be beautiful and it’s by never being happy with what we have.

In short have a fucking word mate.

How To Take A Compliment, Like A Boss

We all give compliments. I bet you give them daily and don’t even realise! The question is: why are we so shockingly bad at accepting them?! Listen to the replies from the majority of people when you give them a compliment and see what you notice. In my experience it goes a bit like this…
You Look pretty. – Oh no, you do!
I like your jacket. – What, this? It was really cheap.
Oh my God your hair today is amazing! – Thanks, it wouldn’t do what I asked it to at all today!
Let’s break this down.
We are taught from a young age a lot of conflicting information. Patriarchy tells us: be modest but not boring. Be clever, but not too smart. Enjoy sex, but don’t be a whore. Eat smaller portions. Hunch. Apologise. Wear make up? You don’t look natural. No make up? You don’t look well. Your skirt is too short. Your skirt is too long. Patriarchy tells us we are fodder for men and competition to other woman. But the patriarchy is outdated and can kiss my ass.
It tells us we should be small and meek and not have an opinion. It contradicts itself and is an unattainable, slippery, ever-changing bastard.
No wonder we feel like immediately apologising and backing away from a compliment. I never learned to be happy with myself until I met other women who were. Women who give compliments when they mean it and aren’t ashamed to look another woman in the face and tell them they’re beautiful in that moment. A turning point was hearing one woman simply say “how nice of you, thank you”. Part of me went “holy balls, did she just say thanks?” She didn’t follow up with, you look so much nicer, or “oh wow really um thanks,” – she full on accepted it, almost like it was okay!
And lo and behold, it is okay. We are taught it’s not okay. We are taught it’s arrogance to look and feel good and accept it and be proud of it. Music, poetry and TV all tell us this every day. The way we interact with other people teaches us this. I won’t teach my daughter to hate herself, or to judge herself. I will teach her that a compliment is just that, and to accept graciously with the intent it’s given. I can do this by saying nice things about myself. But being kind about my appearance in front of her. By being kind to others. By telling her she is smart, funny, kind, strong and beautiful. I can teach her as best I can not to fail at self care like I did, because no one taught me.
If some one tells you that you look super, or you have awesome hair, or you’re a clever woman, here are ways to accept the compliment:
  • Awesome cheers
  • Thank you, that’s really kind
  • I know right!
  • Hey if I wasn’t me, I’d do me
  • You really are lovely, thanks!
  • I worked really hard on this and I appreciate your lovely compliment
  • I’ll take that
Give them out and learn to receive them. Teach your children that being complimentary to others begins by being complimentary to themselves first. Teach them it’s OK to say thank you. And not to start a thank you with a “sorry”
You’re all beautiful, you’re all unique. And you’re all allowed to be perfectly aware of it.

Why Weight Loss Praise Makes Me Eye Roll

“Oh hi, you’ve lost so much weight!”  I’ve heard this weight loss praise on and off over my yo-yo BS diet career, but it’s only the last few years that I’ve seen it for the pile of garbage, ridiculously weird comment it truly is.
Weight Loss Praise
  1.  In my experience it’s not how we greet dudes. And if we’d find something bizarre when said to a bloke, then it should apply to us women too. Equality, mofos.
  2. We don’t praise people for getting fat, so why praise them for getting thin?
  3. Weight loss is as interesting as cutting your dead ends or growing your toenails or taking a crap. I’m not going to congratulate you for those bodily things.
  4. It 100% reinforces woman should be small and take up less space. You’re worth more, the less you weigh. You need to lose weight to become acceptable to your peers.
  5. What if I lost weight because I was ill? I’ve heard people give weight loss praise to really ill woman, not knowing their condition and telling them how ‘awesome’ they look.
  6. It’s sad that’s the first thing you notice about someone and it’s sad we are conditioned to associate being thin with the highest possible praise, an achievement akin to winning the noble peace prize, splitting the atom or giving birth.
  7. It’s ramming home a BS, outdated, and super damaging trout that this is how we should look, and if we don’t WHY NOT? WHY IN ACTUAL JESUS NOT, KAREN?
  8. If you tell me I look better now, did you think I looked terrible before?
  9. It’s weird. It’s just a really weird thing to get over excited about. Stop it.

Does weight loss praise make your eyes roll too? Let us know in the comments!