Having an 11 year old daughter makes me feel like a dinosaur. From BATIM to FNAF to being told about Markiplier and everything in between, I find myself smiling and nodding on pretty much a daily basis. But when she mentioned Candy Gore, my interest was piqued.
Y’all know I am obsessed with pastel goth, so the idea of Candy Gore was pretty adorable to me. At its essence, Candy Gore takes the theme of horror and makes it a little bit cutesy, by adding pastel or bright colours (often candy) to enhance the design or replace the gore. My daughter is in love with drawing and spends a lot of her time coming up with super cute-yet-creepy designs, and it got me thinking about what sickeningly sweet merchandise I would come across if I searched for it on Etsy – and since Christmas is coming up and you might also have a weirdo in your life, I decided to put together this gift guide so things can get a little bit creepy under all of our Christmas trees.
Note: I chose to feature Etsy because I prefer to support independent sellers where I can,
and I encourage you to do this as much as possible when you are Christmas shopping!
Are you ready to be amazed? This adorable ‘SLICE ME a pizza‘ listing is actually for a bath bomb! Though the bath bomb itself is only a fiver, unfortunately the postage costs are pretty hefty so this one won’t be making its way into my life. But I couldn’t talk about gore without mentioning this!
I am new to Coey and Shy, but they are quickly becoming one of my favourite brands on Etsy with their bold prints and, frankly, even bolder ideas. My daughter is an artist, so this pencil case would come in super handy for her – it could also be used as a toiletries bag for holidays or festivals, or even to carry your make-up essentials. For £15 including postage, it’s good to know that this bag is very versatile, because the print is too cute to pass up.
Mum points! This is from FNAF! My son is pretty scared of Springtrap, but maybe Candytrap would be more bearable?! From the candy canes to the red vines to the pastel colours and the pizza, this poster is candy gore through and through, and it is ridiculously cute. It does come in just over £20 when you include postage, but if you know a Five Nights at Freddy’s fan this might just be the perfect present.
Tasty, gummy, chewy entrails! These t-shirts – Chest Cavity and Gummy Guts – are both by seller PandyApparrel, and are stupidly twee in the best possible way. I love a good pun, and the ‘chest cavity’ one in particular is something I would live to wear with a brightly coloured skirt. They do go up to a men’s 2XL so the sizing is better than many, but there is still room for improvement. One downside to Etsy is that its rare to find clothing in proper inclusive sizing, so I tend to use it to buy gifts rather than clothing.
Maybe it’s just me, but I am obsessed with these vinyl stickers. I mean, the seller called it ‘Drippy Eye Cutie Pie‘ for goodness sake! It is delightfully pastel and perfectly gory, and I definitely want one to stick to my laptop right now. Each sticker works out being just under £4.00 with postage, which I think is a great price for a high quality vinyl which features somebody’s adorable artwork.
These necklaces kind of look like bath bombs, but they’re actually made of polymer clay designed to look like candy sweets with not-so-sweet messages. I think I would go for a ‘hate’ necklace on a cutesy day, and ‘gore’ when I’m feeling morbid – and at a tenner a necklace, you could totally get somebody a couple to chop and change. Or… Stab and swap?
More from Coey & Shy here – and these pins and keyrings aren’t even on sale yet. This is definitely a girl gang that I want to be part of. I love that these are promoting being a badass female and challenging the idea that ladies need to be dainty. These would make great stocking fillers for your best friends, your radical friends, your friends who are all about being cute and strong.
Um. HOLO THERE. This is another vinyl that would be more than welcome on my laptop, and even the name of it is gruesome and wonderful: ‘Mushy Hand sticker‘. There is a non-holo version too, but this one is perfect for keeping your holosexual friends happy and honestly its just too cute not to get. The postage is about a fiver, but the sticker itself is only £2 and its coming from the USA and honestly, its worth it for the sparkle.
LOOK AT THOSE COLOURS! These pastel severed hands come in all of my favourite colours, and I can’t get over how cute they are. I honestly can’t think of anywhere in my house that I would need these, but if I got them I would find a space. If you know somebody who has a gorgeously creepy aesthetic, first tell me where they live and how to be friends with them, and then get them this immediately because it is just perfect.
The final stickers in my gift guide come from BatBrieIllustration, whose adorable illustrative style and use of gorgeous pastel colours has won me over in a heartbeat. The postage is super high if you’re outside of the USA but the stickers themselves are cheap, cheerful, horrific and wonderful. That skull reminds me of Murray from Monkey Island, so I feel like it would be worth it for that alone.
And to round off this gift guide is the sweetest slice of cake I have ever seen. The sponge actually looks spongy, it is so cool! I’m tempted to actually make this zombie brain cake in real life because it just looks delicious. This is a made to order item and with postage included it only costs about £10 to come from the USA, so I think it is incredible value for an adorable necklace.