The Language of Love

Daisy Hollands
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Daisy Hollands

Mother. Plus size model. Fat Activist. Diet Industry Dropout.
Daisy Hollands
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The Language of Love

The Language of Love

What is your inner voice saying to you right now? The one that you only hear inside your head, the one that is often – usually –  speaking utter nonsense, but is the one that pulls you up short and sometimes make you die inwardly.

Whose words does that voice use? Are they your own thoughts, the deep, dark ones that you keep locked away? Or those of someone who has tormented you in the past, with words that cut and wound – the scars still raised and itchy, even though the actual words have long vanished?

Pro-tip…you don’t have to listen to those words any more. You can choose to replace them with different words, better words – more accurate words – and I’m going to show you how.

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Think about some of the things you say to yourself –this could be out loud (I have a penchant for talking to myself, do you?) or more likely, the really nasty things, could be internal. Never vocalised, just running amok in your head, ruining your day.

Every time you have a negative thought. Stop. Think about the language you just used. The words you just chose. The names you just called yourself. The insults you just levied in your own direction. Imagine yourself as a child. The child you were. A small, vulnerable child – looking to the adult you have now become, for reassurance, validation, love. Picture yourself saying those words to her. Imagine how they will affect her. You know the hurt you’re about to inflict, you know the pain and confusion and all the insecurities that you will be putting upon her – you know, because you are her. You feel it.

 

Stop.

 

Now think of a different, better way of talking to her. Tell her she is important. Big up the things she is good at. Allow her to make mistakes and forgive her. She is (you are) human – we’re flawed and we’re meant to mess up. We are people, we’re not machines! (And even machines malfunction from time to time). Praise her, cherish her and love her. Love you.

There will be plenty of folk who want to do you down – some people will do that deliberately, some will do it unintentionally, with clumsy, ill thought out remarks – don’t be one of those people! No more self-sabotage!

The negative thoughts you hold about yourself – if you wouldn’t say it aloud to a friend or family member, to someone you love, then please don’t say it to yourself. Be kind and speak kindly to yourself.

You are important and valuable and so worthy of love – start treating yourself with the same basic decency and respect you show everyone else.

 

Be your own safe space, starting from today.

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