People often ask me how I can be so confident (which is a slightly offensive question if you ask me, but we’ll cover that another time) and so I thought I would put together some thoughts and possible hints on improving your confidence. I am by no means an expert on this matter and everyone’s journey is different so please do things at your own pace and as they suit you, we’re all at different stages are there are no rights or wrongs.
Cultivate Your Social Media
We are massively influenced by the things we read and hear. In the past this has been via newspapers, magazines and books but now social media has taken the place of these in many ways. This means that we’re influenced subtly all of the time and our social media feeds are a massive part of this. One of the very best things you can do is ensure that you follow the right types of accounts. My social media feeds are full of plus size bloggers, fat positive influences and account full of positivity. I generally remove anyone who’s posts consistently make me doubt myself or feel unhappy. Deleting people can be a big step, but don’t forget that on most platforms you can mute people which is a good place to start.
Talk To The People Who Matter
If people in your life are causing you concern when it comes to the language they use about your body and lifestyle choices, try to speak to them about this. This doesn’t always have to be a massive, full-on conversation but just a general reminder that their words are making you unhappy and you would like to have a different conversation with them can do the world of good. Often we have people talking badly about our bodies, we absorb this and it can lead to bad feeling.
I haven’t always been this confident, and I don’t think there are many people who can say they have consistently been happy in their body. For me, it was about educating myself, learning my own self-worth and recognising that the way I look is okay. I’ve learned this over time, so although I don’t want to come across as condescending, age is definitely a factor! Read fat positive books, buy copies of magazines with plus size models on the front and listen to Ted Talks on your worth and your place in this world.
Confidence won’t happen overnight, you can certainly fake it until you make it though, which is another step to the end result of loving who you are and not caring when other people don’t. A big step for me was when I realised that strangers don’t pay my bills, they don’t share my bed, or choose what job I do. They’re simply people who have a lot of words to say, but I am certainly not obligated to listen.