Quick ‘How To’ Tips For Life

Leanda Lewis

Leanda Lewis

Jewellery Designer at Nature and Alchemy
Child raising, husband having, veggie, feminist, sci fi loving foul mouth gin swiller. I design jewellery too!
Leanda Lewis

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Quick ‘How To’ tips for life that I live by:

How To Get A Beach Body 

Go to the beach (please remember to take your body)
Tips For Life

How To Lose Weight

Don’t count calories or kill yourself going to the gym, it’s much easier to lose other people’s heavy bullshit expectations of what your body should weigh, step one lose them… step two feel the weight of their horse shit drop away.

Tips For Life

How To Dress For Your Body Shape

Look at what shape you are, are you person shaped? Excellent go and buy people clothes (top tip leave horse clothes, dolls clothes and clothes pegs. They aren’t for you )
Tips For Life

How To Look Sexy

Get a mirror
Hold it up
Look into it
Say “hey you sexy muther”

(Can also be achieved by pouting lips and wearing what the fuck you want)

Tips For Life

How To Eat Clean

Wash your fucking food

How To Say No

There are several ways to say no I gauge the situation then do one of the following
“No.”
Shake my head.
Pretend I’m moving to Lisbon.

How To Dress For Your Age

This is tricky but if you find a good seamstress they can usually fashion you an outfit in the shape of the number 33 (you have to use your own age) failing this just wear what you like society will find fault with it anyway.

How To Look Flawless

Roll yourself in carpet lie down and blend In! You got this girl!

How To Get Your Pre Baby Body Back

Good luck, that shit is gone. You grew and pushed out a person! Eat a doughnut, drink the gin, and congratulate yourself for remembering to put knickers on when you answer the door to the postman.

Tips For Life

Have you got any tips for life that we should all use?

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