My fiancé and I are just two months away from getting married.
Thus we decided it was obviously a great idea to move house in the next fortnight, because hey, let’s amp up the anxiety as much as possible. We also have a four month old puppy, but I digress.
In the midst of packing to move house I came across my homemade, scraped together Ursula from The Little Mermaid costume and had to decide whether to ditch it or pack it. How often could it possibly be acceptable to dress as Ursula? Or a mermaid for that matter? Let alone wrap prop moray eels around myself like a boa?
In the last three years my hair has been all sorts of blues and greens and in betweens. It now sits at semi-normal, regular ol’ brown with pale purple Frankenstein’s Bride-esque streaks. My hair was/is definitely my small homage to Ursula and all mermaids, little or otherwise, when it is just not socially acceptable to be rocking a full mermaid fin à la Bette Midler as Delores De Lago circa 1980.
As a little girl who was born in 1984, I have a very vivid memory of seeing Disney’s The Little Mermaid at my local cinema. Ariel then became my favourite Disney princess – quickly shafted for the library dwelling, possibly interspecies-erotica-loving, Belle… but that’s a topic for another day!
Like many kids all over the world, I got mermaid obsessed.
The exquisite Amber of Style Plus Curves looking glorious
However, whereas Ariel wanted to be where the people are/see them dancing/etc, I wanted to be Under the Sea with funky snails playing tiny saxophones and dads who threw concerts in my honour. To have a giant clam shell bed and be friends with Ursula, because let’s face it, we all know she’s the freaking coolest.
From the 5 year old, dark haired girl with scabby knees, who wanted a tiny clam shell bra, impossibly wide eyes and perfect hair to the 33 year old with scabby knees, who realised that she couldn’t swim; living in the ocean as a mermaid was not actually an achievable goal.
Fortunately for this land-dwelling, wannabe mermaid, the internet exists and there is still a world of fantastic mermaid-errific gadgets and gizmos out there.
CHI CHI CURVE DYLANN DRESS
If you want to be super unsubtle about how much you want to be where the people aren’t, you can finally rock your clamshell bra dreams with this… DISNEY THE LITTLE MERMAID ARIEL SWIM TOP PLUS SIZE
Thus, even though I will never be the Mistress of the Sea (okay… maybe I want to be Ursula more than Ariel nowadays), I can at least adorn myself in fantastically oceanic fashion and continue to dye my hair every shade of magical and mermaid-y glory! Here’s me living my best mermaid life in a skirt from Forever 21:
… now, I wonder if it’s too late to pitch a mermaid themed wedding to my fiancé??
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