Before I met Alfie, I had been single for several years and I wasn’t even really talking to any men at all. Eventually, I signed up to a couple internet dating site but I wasn’t actively looking. I was hardly logging into the app or opening it. It was extremely rare that I would be reading messages, and I’d never ever reply to anyone because their first message didn’t interest me in the slightest. A new study has been published about Internet Dating and has suggestions on how to get the best out of it and actually meet someone.
No matter what internet dating site you’ve signed up to, whether it’s welovedates.com or something older, they have found out what things you can do to make people reply to you. Apparently it’s all about aiming high and you should mention what you’re looking for in your profile. I have never done this and I’ve met two boyfriends online! It makes sense now I’ve read it. Obviously if you’re on a set site like divorced dating sites then you know what you’re looking for, but if you’re just on a general site, it helps to be more specific.
Most of your profile should obviously be about yourself. I was quite conscious of internet dating as I’m plus size, so I made sure to show full length photos of myself. This study found that you should never send first messages that are more than 40 words and I definitely agree with that. I found the longer messages to be really cringe and most likely a copy and paste job. Both boyfriends I met online sent very simple messages to start and they both worked.
Aiming high is recommended and again it’s not something that I considered, I don’t believe I ever messaged anyone first on any of the dating apps I was on. Although the reply rate from men to women considered higher than them is lower, it usually ends up as a success so, it’s worth a risk. I’d say that both my boyfriends from dating sites aimed higher when they messaged me, but clearly the dating gods were looking down on them.
Although a lot of us complain about being hounded or receiving multiple messages, this study shows that sending more messages and seeming keen can actually pay off. I’m not too sure on this one so I’d love to hear your thoughts? The final top tip is to be patient, not everyone replies straight away or to everyone because they’re simply checking out the market. Seeing what is on offer and weighing up their options. Not everyone has time to waste when it comes to dating so making sure you pick the right people from the get go to spend time with is definitely a good strategy. In both cases my two boyfriends were some of the handful of men I replied to. For my current and longest reigning boyfriend, he was the only person I replied to and it’s worked out amazingly for us.
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