Too often in life we keep people as friends in fear that we are being impolite. But why? Why have we built this culture of keeping the peace even if it makes you unhappy? We have all been in the situation where we have a friend that we can consider toxic. You may have been friends for years or it may be a recent acquaintance. But it’s not too late to discover the signs of a toxic friendship and knock it on the head!
Toxic friends have a tendency to make us feel bad about ourselves. You know: the type of people who say things like “oh wow you’re wearing a skin tight dress – that’s brave”. The type of people who hear you have been too Tenerife but they have been to Elevenerife. This is not ok, and it’s not ok for you to keep making excuses for their behaviour.
The friend will often be someone who is unhappy with their own life. Someone who doesn’t like feeling left behind. It will be someone who is struggling in some aspect such as anger or jealousy. Maybe this person has recently been through something negative. Whatever the reason this is never a reflection on you. This is a trouble with the toxic person. Now I’m not saying as soon as someone is toxic towards you to run away. They might need some help. Love always over powers hate. Use it.
You need to ignore anything negative that they say – honestly, this is the best piece of advice ever. Ignore negativity completely. If they turn a positive moment of yours into a negative for them – let them. They obviously need that. Be kind to them and try and explain how they make you feel. Let them hear your side and listen to what made them act that way. Some people may be blind or in denial about they way they act. If it is unresolvable, don’t be afraid to walk away.
If a child decides they do not want to play with another child at school, they play with a different child. Use this as a guide for toxic people. You don’t have to apologise for not liking somebody or not wanting somebody in your life. You can not and will not get on with everyone you meet. Some you will dislike straight away, some take a while. But always think of yourself, beauty queen!
We only have one life on this planet, and it is important to fill it with positive, uplifting allies. People who build you up and not tear you down then they get jealous. You are your own world: be kind, be gracious and know who your real friends are.