Emily Perry-Musgrave

Emily

Northerner with a passion for lingerie, art, guinea pigs and sarcasm.

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Battle of the Wide Fit Wellies!

wellies

Summer is almost over – did it really ever begin? The end of Summer can only mean one thing… rain. And of course wanting to actively go out to enjoy the last of the summer weather only to be met with… rain. And going to that festival you love only to experience mud-fest more than Leeds-fest because of… rain!

I’m a person who sometimes chooses practical clothing over fashion. I really don’t care if I’m encased in a cagoule because hey, at least I’m dry. Same goes for footwear. I have THE WORST time finding shoes that fit my wide-fit flippers every year. Often, Winter is okay as there are often a massive amount of boots, but waterproof boots? Not so much. In the Summer, sandals are worn in the event of humid weather and hot storms because I find that wellies either cut off my circulation or rub so much because my feet/legs swell in heat.

It’s genuinely so hard to find some that are comfy and which do the job that we need them to. That’s why I decided to have a gander around at some fabulous retailers and see if I could do the hard work for you.

I made the decision to rate each pair of wellies based on four things – leg circumference, style, practicality and affordability. As with any clothing we feature here on She Might Be, it is important that a range is available to our readers of all sizes, so a large leg circumference was a definite necessity in these boots. Practicality looked mostly at those boots which were wide open at the ankle, which to me is just a foot-funnel to collect rain and have you squelching around for the rest of the day. I rated the affordability based on how much I would realistically spend on a pair of wellies, and deducted points from brands who offered cheaper versions of the same wellies to smaller customers. And finally, I looked at style – because I might be somebody who chooses practicality over fashion, but we most definitely have some fashionistas who read She Might Be on the regular. Without further ado – let the Battle of the Wide Fit Wellies commence!

wellies

wellieswellies
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wellieswellies

 

And the winner is… JILEON WIDE FIT WELLIES! 

 

Overall Jileon had the greatest variety of calf sizes, with their range including rear gussets and double side gussets so that they can truly be adjusted to any size. Such greatness does come at a price, though, and Jileon are a super expensive brand. At almost half the cost, Miss Wild Splash Wellies from The Welly Shop had some great options which were super stylish – but didn’t have such a great range of sizes.

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I Like My Pants Past My Bellybutton Part 2

I like big pants! My first list was a selection of Spring/Summer styles, so let’s move onto Summer/Autumn styles. Colder weather means layers, and layers mean that I’m not going to ignore areas of my body that I think might not be cold. When I go for layers, I take it very seriously. Here’s a quick selection of my favourites I’ve found while trying to find new ways to wrap up warm.

Curves Pink Strappy High Waist Briefs – £7.99

Pants

Grey & Black Floral Print High Waisted Charlotte Brief – £16

 

pant

pant

 

Chi Chi Navy Floral Briefs – £19

pant

 

Olivia Full Fit Briefs – £10

pant

 

Powder Blue High Waisted Charlotte Brief – £15

 

pants

Lace Cuffed Full Briefs – £6

pants

 

 

 

 

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Boobs Deserve Better: Your New Bra Fit Guide #boobsdeservebetter

Welcome to your first Boobs Deserve Better post!

I will be scanning the internet for the worst offenders for putting models in badly fitting bras. #boobsdeservebetter aims to show you what a good fitting bra should look like and how to spot the signs that you’re wearing the wrong size.

I know that some brands are only provided with sample sizes. Personally, I don’t see this as an excuse and it’s a brand’s duty to show women what a well fitted bra should look like to prevent their customers buying the wrong size.

 

Brand: Hunkemoller

boobs

Styled by: ASOS

Models wears size: 34B

This model is certainly, 100% NOT a 34b. She is definitely going to be a size 28 back. See how her hooks are on the tightest set? That means even as a brand new bra it is already too loose on her. They’ve tightened it up to make it look like it fits. Your bra band should be snug straight away and fitted on the loosest set of hooks. That way, as it starts to age you can tighten it up. If your new bra is on the tightest set of hooks and it is still comfortable and doesn’t dig in it generally means you can go down a back size. The gore also doesn’t appear to be sitting flat, which can be another sign of a band being too big.

Not only is her band completely wrong, but so is her cup. Her boobs look to me more of an E cup.

 

Brand: City Chic

boobs

Styled by: ASOS

Model wears size: 36D

Let’s compare the Hunkemoller and City Chic models’ sizes. The first wears the incorrect size 34B, the next is wearing a 36D. The second model is more of what a 34 back looks like. Comparing the two sizes the models are wearing should make it a little clearer how much of a disaster the fitting is. The model in this City Chic bra firstly has her hooks on what looks to be the second loosest set. Secondly, the wires in the bra are sat too far forward. They need to be sat more on the rib area. This is because our breast tissue goes very far back. That jabbing you get from your wires under your armpit? Yep, that’s your breast tissue they’re digging into. Your breast tissue needs to be pulled forward into the cup using the swoop and scoop method. Leaning forward does not work!

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Brand: Marks & Spencer

boobs

Styled by: Marks & Spencer

Model wears size: 34B

Oh would you look at that, another 34B! Once again, she’s going to be a 28 back and her band is again fitted on the tightest set of hooks. I’d probably say she’s a D or DD cup. It’s harder to tell because her bra is so badly fitted.

 

Brand: Elomi

boobs

Styled by: Simply Be

Model wears size: Unlisted

I worship Elomi. The comfiest bras I’ve ever worn. They specialise in plus size bras, going from a 34 to a 46 and a D to a K cup. So it’s a shame to see the lovely Nina bra looking a little sad on this lovely model. The first thing that jumps out to me is that there is a gap at the bottom of the cup. This can happen and to prevent it you need to “drop” your breast in. To do so, hold onto the flesh just below your cup wire on your ribs. Keeping that still, gently tug on your bra strap and your breast should drop into the cup. if you have gap at the top, either 1. Adjust your straps 2. Consider another style or 3. Go down a cup size if neither help resolve the issue.

The next thing I noticed was that her bra straps seemed quite loose and need adjusting as they look like they may slip off her shoulders. This is actually a common problem that I came across a lot where women had narrow shoulders and had problems with their straps staying put. If it’s not a case of adjusting your bra size, there are some things you can try. Specially designed hooks which create a racer back to give you more support and less chance of your straps slipping, or try a bra where the straps begin further into the bra cup.

And finally, that old chestnut, her band is too big!

 

Brand: Victoria’s Secret

boobs

Stylist: Victoria’s Secret

Model wears size: Unlisted

Perfect example of trapped breast tissue. Victoria’s Secret are notorious for making customers fit their bras rather than their bra’s fit their customers.

 

Brand: Ann Summers

boobs

Styled by: Ann Summers

Model wears size: Unlisted

ARGHHHHHH no. Major breast tissue issues, bra back too loose, wire too far forward, boobs clearly have been squashed into the cups to look like the bra fits. This is a bad one and wins worst fit of the week.

 

My top reminders:

  1. In my experience as a bra fitter, F is the most popular cup size.
  2. Everyone has one boob bigger than the other.
  3. A bra should not cause you any pain if it is fitted correctly. This includes back pain – find the right size and support and you should be comfortable.
  4. Your breast tissue needs to be pulled forward into the cup using the swoop and scoop method.
  5. Your bra band should be snug. It may be a shock at first and feel tight as you change band size, but you’ll soon get used to it and notice the benefits of a properly fitting bra! And almost everyone gets “back fat” because of their bra, it’s not something you should let bother you.
  6. Half-Cup/Full-Cup/Moulded are generally all Balcony bras.
  7. When you go down a back size, go up a cup size.
  8. When pregnant, you do not need to buy a non-wired maternity bra. If fitted correctly, the wires in your bra should not be sat on any breast tissue and therefore should not affect the production of milk (something I have heard a lot of women worry about). A maternity bra isn’t always needed in your earlier months of pregnancy.
  9. I always recommend trying on a bra regardless if you are certain of your size. Each bra can come up differently (yes, even if it’s the exact same one) and your bra size may change from style to style, brand to brand.
  10. Always get another opinion! When fitting yourself, it can have some flaws. Professional bra fitters have seen a million types of boobs and can tell you instantly why your bra is/isn’t fitting, solving a lot of hassle and returns.
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My Favourite NYX Products

NYX Cosmetics is a cruelty free brand that launched in 1999. I fell in love with NYX two years ago after stumbling across them on ASOS. After avoiding lipsticks for years, I took the plunge and purchased their Matte Lipstick in the shade Euro Trash when I found out they were also a cruelty free brand.

I am absolutely by no means an aspiring makeup artist, but NYX have made their brand accessible to those (like me) who are still dabbling in breaking away from their usual makeup routine. Even better, their cosmetics are of a quality which definitely feels like it is used by professionals! It’s also well priced, no more expensive than the usual brands you find in Boots, meaning I don’t feel guilty about treating myself to a new lipstick.  My entire make up bag is now full of NYX and here are my favourite products!

NYX Cosmetics

Matte Lipstick

This is an easy lipstick – by that I mean I can whack it on without really having to concentrate too much and it still looks neat and tidy. I have found myself wearing it everyday and it was a brilliant lipstick to start with as a beginner.

Ultimate Shadow Palette

From eye-popping colour to warm neutrals, NYX’s eyeshadow palettes last forever and are excellent value – 16 shades for £16!

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Face & Body Glitter

I’m starting to really, really love sparkles. I’m 24 but I’m fairly certain my love for glitter was delayed 20 years. These pots of face & body glitter help me to feel that it’s socially acceptable for an adult to be using body glitter when I am not at a festival. The bronze is especially pretty for the Summer time!

 

NYX Cosmetics 2

HD Photogenic Concealer Wand

I have really awful red areas, and find the minty coloured concealer is perfect for toning them down. It’s pretty heavy duty and won’t shift (unless you’re experiencing a heatwave, then it’s just the one top up at lunch time) and definitely reduces those red patches. It also comes other colour correcting shades as well as a full range of skin tones.

Full Throttle Lipstick 

Holy Moly is this stuff magical. It. Just. Does. Not. Smudge. I put it on and it feels a little silky for maybe a half an hour but after that – it stays put! It’s incredible. I have it in two shades, Night Crawler (see pic below) and Side Kick. It can dehydrate your lips a little, so if you’re prone to that make sure to put some Vaseline on the night before.

 

A post shared by undertheart (@undertheart) on

 

Eyebrow Powder Pencil

Just an easy and simple eyebrow pencil and fills in flawlessly while giving you total control. I’ve found some pencils fill and shape as a combo very well. This eyebrow pencil just does the job for you and makes your brow routine half the time it used to be.

Stay Matte But Not Flat Foundation

A full coverage foundation that’s light and doesn’t upset my dry skin for £6.00 is something I am never letting go of again. Oil free and water based with a matte finish!

 

Are you a fan of NYX, or the brand is new to you? Let us know who your favourite cruelty free make up brand is, or what your favourite NYX product is in the comments!

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How to Change Your Ableist Vocabulary

ableist

 

I’ve only recently become fully aware of ableist language. The hardest part for me has been realising that phrases such as “crazy” or “stupid”, which were phrases that I used to use at least daily, were contributing to the problem of the negative connotations surrounding mental illnesses and disabilities. I found it harder than I expected to change my vocabulary, as I didn’t realise just how much I used ableist language until I began to change. As someone who experiences mental illness and disability, I’m ashamed that I had been contributing to a problem such as ableism which I should have been working to fight.

Many people still don’t understand the impact of using certain words in everyday contexts as they seem so ‘normal’ in our lives. Many of these words are still used regularly on TV, in magazines, and on social media to the point where some have become numb to the consequences of their use. Obviously, phrases like “retard” are now completely outdated and offensive which is fantastic, but there is still a lot of work to do.

Honestly, the easiest way to understand which words you should no longer be using is to simply listen to those that these words affect and take on board what is considered offensive and why. I think part of the way people can begin to understand the weight of those words is also to refer to them as slurs. Sometimes it can be as easy as replacing using the slur as an adjective and just saying what you actually mean.

To help, I’ve created a list of common phrases that you may not realise are ableist slurs and some alternatives for them. Let me know if you have any more in the comments!

 

Here are a few examples of how you can change your language:

 

Crazy/Mental/Insane – Wild, illogical, not thinking, intense, amazing, wicked, unreasonable, ridiculous, overwhelming, exciting, absurd

eg. “That is absolutely mental” can be changed to “That is absolutely ridiculous”

eg. “Don’t stick your dick in crazy!” can be changed to “I am a misogynistic arsehole with no respect for women”

 

Lame – Gross, awful, inadequate, cringey, disappointing

eg. “What a lame joke” can be changed to “What an awful joke”

eg. “I can’t believe how lame this club is” can be changed to “This club is disappointing”

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Crippled/invalid – poorly, uncomfortable

eg. “I feel like such an invalid today” can be changed to “My back/muscles/head hurts and I feel poorly”

eg. “That yoga left me feeling crippled” can be changed to “I can tell how much exercise I did during yoga”

 

Stupid/slow/idiot – Frustrating, annoying, irritating, pointless, counterproductive

eg. “You’re acting like such a stupid idiot” can be changed to “Your behaviour is really counter-productive”

 

Deaf/blind – Change your phrasing

eg. “Sorry, what? I’m so deaf today!” can be changed to “Can you repeat that? I couldn’t hear you”

 

Schizo/psycho/bipolar/OCD – unpredictable, changeable, difficult, unreasonable, complicated, tricky, puzzling

eg. “This filing system is making my OCD go crazy!” can be changed to “This filing system is really unorganised, it’s making me so frustrated”

eg. “The weather is so bipolar today” can be changed to “The weather is so changeable today”

 

Other phrases that are offensive:

  • Referring to selling an organ for money eg. “I need to sell a kidney to pay for that!” The reality is there are many people out there who need transplants. Making light of that situation is insensitive and thoughtless.
  • Calling something/someone inbred. Those who are victims of inbreeding are victims of abuse and it shouldn’t be used as an adjective.
  • Using the phrase “heart attack” in a hyperbolic sense. Eg. “You gave me a heart attack!” Nothing wrong with simply saying you’re shocked. It can save a lot of painful memories/feelings for those who have closely experienced heart attacks.
  • “I look like I’ve had a stroke” Same as above. Think before you speak.

 

Not seeing a phrase on the list and it’s alternative? Share in the comments!

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How to Survive a Toxic Workplace – Not a Serious Guide

I’m lucky enough that I’ve fallen into a job I love and enjoy, but I got here by working in some jobs which were affecting my health and my social life. Whether you’re a receptionist or an office furniture specialist, there’s no way of knowing what the job is actually going to be like. Sometimes it seems like you have the worst job you possibly could be have, especially after working your arse off or building up a tonne of debt at Uni. However bad it seems, often it’s the people you work with that are the ones that are making things more difficult, not the job itself. Here are some tips for surviving a toxic workplace and progressing your career:

  • When your boss takes the customers/clients side on an issue, be sure to argue with them until they see your perspective. Persistence and passion is key to building an excellent relationship with both clients and your superiors!Toxic Workplace
  • On the occasion that someone within your workplace uses an offensive slur, make a loud screeching noise each time it is used as a learning experience to help them. They’ll really appreciate it and will respect you more as a person!Toxic Workplace
  • When dealing with a difficult customer or client, hum in a very low tone each time they speak. They will eventually think there is an infestation of bees and leave.Toxic Workplace________________________________________________________________________________________

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  • After your the rota is changed without letting you know, take a sleeping bag to work to ensure you never miss a shift again.TOXIC WORKPLACE
  • If your ill health becomes a anecdotal competition with other members of your workplace, make sure to cough/sneeze/vomit in their direction – it will help them understand you’re feeling a bit poorly and garner sympathy from your colleagues.TOXIC WORKPLACE
  • Bonus tip: After your superiors passively aggressively tell you that they can power through any mildly serious illness after you have been given a sick note and don’t send you home straight away, sing the Sound of Music soundtrack for the rest of your shift! This will help them take you seriously and you’ll be sent home immediately. Remix ‘Climb Every Mountain’ for an even quicker result.TOXIC WORKPLACE
  • When your boss orders your work uniform assuming your clothing size, use the misjudged sized garment as a handy tool for cleaning your oven.TOXIC WORKPLACE
  • After you’re told that your appearance is not acceptable for the workplace because your tattoos are showing, draw a comical pair of cat whiskers on your face to show you can do your job no matter how you look and that it does not affect your workplace performance. Your boss will appreciate you thinking outside the box and using your creativity to create a convincing argument.TOXIC WORKPLACE

 

 

Please note that this was just a little bit of fun, and we are working on a serious version of this and it will be live very soon.

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I’m Not Depressed Because I’m Fat

depressed

As someone who has experienced symptoms of depression since I was 11, and then acknowledged I probably did have it when I was 15, my relationship with mental illness has so far been complicated and misunderstood by myself and others. I have also been overweight since my early teens. What society doesn’t realise or wish to comprehend is that the two are not connected.

As someone who has suffered from an eating disorder, hearing comments that my appearance affects my health in any way is quite damaging and can create the risk of undoing of all the hard work I have managed to maintain since recovering from it. I am also very aware that many people are overweight as a symptom of depression and some who are depressed because they are overweight and I’m not saying these people do not exist. I just know so many sufferers of depression that are overweight are not so because the two things are connected.

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I’m fat because I am. It’s who I am and it is how I’m staying. The societal assumption that anyone fat who is depressed must be so because of their appearance is dangerous. I cannot be “fixed” by making changes to my physical appearance. I am not just an aesthetic and treating me as an obesity statistic implies that my physical health is more important than my mental health. Depression does not care whether I am a size 8 or size 28. I have had many battles with depression and I may have more in the future and I will let society know; I am not depressed because I am fat.

When I am suffering from my depression, I am not thinking logically or feel based in reality. I don’t think about my looks. I do not have any kind of concern about washing my hair or putting on perfume or wearing a dress that cinches my waist. It is so much bigger than that. It is so far beyond any kind of concerns society has about how I present myself that thinking about it is almost laughable. I don’t even think about basic needs such as eating, let alone how much I should be consuming or which menu item creates the most balanced meal or has the least amount of calories.

As a culture our focus on appearance is so mighty that we mourn when our eyebrows are plucked too thinly. We are taught aesthetic mistakes are something to be ashamed of or embarrassed by so it’s easy to see why when my peers look at me they think that the beginning of my self-healing journey is to change my dress size. My appearance is important to me because I feel not only am I representing a part of society which is still considered taboo and has negative associations that are powerful enough for people to assume that a result of my mental illness is my obesity but also because the way I look is a reminder that I am happy. It shows that I am at peace after years of battling with self esteem and bullying.

I am embracing and loving myself in a way which my mental illness never allowed me to.

 

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Your Anti-Summer Fashion Guide

I am not a fan of summer and I am not afraid to say it. I have absolutely no interest in summer prints. Or florals. Or anything bright for that matter. The sun generally bothers me. I’m mostly inconvenienced by its appearance every morning and it’s ten times worse when it decides to blast unbearable heat in my direction to the point I’m sweating in areas I didn’t even realise had that bodily function. I have awful hayfever, so those afternoon strolls through meadows can be put on pause. So can picnics and every single insect that seems to make a special journey towards my Babybels while I’m sat on a fuzzy wool-blend blanket in a local park that smells suspiciously like sewage.

I like dark colours so much that I’m pretty sure my soul is a delightful, monochrome houndstooth print. I spend every summer uncomfortable and sweaty. Things rub. Things melt. Things make socially-unacceptable noises. At She Might Be, there are some of us who are equally unimpressed when it comes to temperatures that rise about 14°.

So here is a collection of delightfully dark outfits that won’t make you sweat to the point of becoming liquid form!

 

Anti-Summer Fashion

ASOS Curve Jumpsuit size 16 to 28 – £22.00

I’m not sure why, but I’m kind of in love with this length of jumpsuit. I own the bardot version, and it’s pretty much guaranteed to keep all areas comfortable and well ventilated. Always a bonus.

Anti-Summer Fashion

Elvi Premium Lace Dress size 14 to 26 – On Sale £53.40

Don’t let the Summer sun stop you from making your monthly ritual sacrifice! This Elvi dress will make the coven jealous.

Anti-Summer Fashion

Alice & You Mesh Top size 16 to 28 – £26.00

This top can be teamed with so many different outfits. Jeans, a maxi, a skirt and bralette or as a beach dress. It’s a versatile and light option for your Anti-Summer wardrobe.

 

 

Anti-Summer Fashion

New Look Wide Fit Gladiator Sandals – £15.99

A classic gladiator sandal with minimal lion confrontations.

Anti-Summer Fashion

Hell Bunny Bridget Dress – £65.99

A monochrome dream, this style is especially good for wafting when you’re feeling the heat.

Anti-Summer Fashion

Boohoo Hayley Scallop Choker – £4.00

Because chokers are all year, baby.

Anti-Summer Fashion

New Look Wide Fit Sandals – £25.99

A smarter option which I would actually happily wear as an everyday sandal.

Anti-Summer Fashion
Yours Tapered Mono Print Trousers sizes 16-36 £19.00

I LOVE a clashing print. Especially when it’s on the same piece of clothing. A comfy pair of trousers definitely breaks up the repetitiveness of maxi skirts and dresses. I’d size up. When I get warm, everything swells and seems to want to break free via the seams.

Anti-Summer Fashion

Forever 21 Top £16.00 & Bottoms £15.00

You probably won’t win the 100 metre breaststroke in this bikini (but don’t let me stop you trying!) because the support is going to be slight. But who wants to be competitive when you could be lounging about by the pool?

Anti-Summer Fashion

Boutique Vintage Style Umbrella from jollybrolly.co.uk – £22.99

To be used to shield from the sun or for when, inevitably, it rains for 17 days straight.

Anti-Summer Fashion

Simply Be Mesh Skirt sizes 12 to 26 – £29.00

Mesh. Mesh. All the mesh. Black and sheer are just two things that go as well together as Jamie Dornan and a brooding facial expression.I really love this style of skirt because it also can translate into an Autumn wardrobe really easily.

Anti-Summer Fashion

ASOS Curve Layered Cami Dress size 16 to 28 – £30.00

Loose lace jersey dress. #futurebandname

Anti-Summer Fashion

River Island Black Oversized Sunglasses – £14.00

Perfect for using to avoid eye contact!

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