Emily Perry-Musgrave

Emily

Northerner with a passion for lingerie, art, guinea pigs and sarcasm.

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Elomi Sachi: The It Bra

Now, let me get this off my chest (see what I did there?!). I used to work for the company that was the main distributor for Elomi in UK as a bra fitter (burnt some bridges there!) It was there that I was first introduced to Elomi. My first Elomi bra was Kiki. It was so comfy that I fell asleep in it as I forgot I even had it on. I even bought it again when I changed sizes. Then, came Opal. Opal is a glorious half cup bra that also, yes, was insanely comfy and gave an amazing shape.

So, when I walked past my old place of work and saw the harnessed beauty that is the Elomi Sachi, I spent months ruminating on when/where to buy it. One day, armed with a discount code, I bought the bra that I knew was going to be the new love of my life. The Elomi Sachi bra comes with both a high-waisted brief and a standard brief in sizes 14-24 (however, with a high-waisted brief generally you can size down). Starting in a size 32 to a 46, and cup size DD to JJ, Elomi really is amazing at catering to as many people as possible in terms of sizing.

Elomi Sachi, black bra with sheer mesh detailing and harness crossover.

Elomi black bra with sheer mesh detailing and harness crossover.

I. Love. It. I love it. I love it, I love it, I love it. It has gotten so big in the blogger community! Before I bought it, I kept seeing it everywhere. I was jealous, but I was also so happy at how much love it was getting. Truth is, I’m not surprised – Elomi is a fantastic brand. While on the more expensive side, I can definitely say they are the comfiest, best quality bras I have ever invested in.

With the Elomi Sachi bra, I would suggest going up in the back and down in the cup as the back comes up slightly smaller. (Also with Opal, you need to maintain the back size but go up in the cup! Kiki is generally true to size.)

Here are some beautiful bloggers wearing the stunning Elomi Sachi Bra

Spent the afternoon playing dress up I love Sundays ✨

A post shared by Ronnie-Sheree Walsh (@ronniesheree) on

 

 

How amazing do all these babes look in the Elomi Sachi? Have you bought one yet?

 

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Self Love Brings Beauty: The Reason I Am in Love With Myself

While I was at work a few weeks ago, I spotted someone with a red hoodie emblazoned with the words “Self Love Brings Beauty”. Recognising those illustrated hands on it, I immediately started talking to the lady wearing it. We spoke in harmony about how amazing the movement is and how wonderful it was to be able to share a common ground with people we may have never spoken to otherwise. There is such a sense of belonging and community with Self Love Brings Beauty that it is recognisable from a simple tee.

Felicity Hayward established Self Love Brings Beauty in 2015. Since then, a community has been created that is all about loving yourself and others without adjusting yourself in any way. Self Love Brings Beauty is an all embracing, positive self-appreciation movement that begins with you. With self love comes the beauty that only you can truly appreciate. It is about nurturing and sustaining your mental health and as a result feeling peaceful.

In the campaign, Felicity perfectly represents her philosophy. There’s nothing more encouraging and more able to fill you with self confidence than seeing literally EVERYONE represented. She shows each person is valued, each person is worth the space they occupy and should be celebrated. I love feeling safely nestled in this community and that there are increasing opportunities to bump into others wearing these tees. The community is ever growing and is getting the attention it deserves!

Self Love Brings Beauty

Self Love Brings Beauty is a universal safe space where you can celebrate everything about yourself with not a single ounce of judgement from anyone else. Even better, there is no judgement from yourself. Learning to love yourself is one of the hardest things you can do, but once you have it is glorious and it is even better to see there is a community out there that welcomes you and helps you through the journey to self acceptance.

The value of a tee shirt with a slogan should never be underestimated.

 

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Instragram Accounts That Will Add Some Positivity to Your Day

It’s really hard nowadays to avoid gloom. It’s a matter of self preservation that you should save some room on your social media for only the positive. There have been so many studies about how social media affects your psyche for the worse. I rarely use anything but Instagram now as it’s so much easier to choose what you want to see. Sure, the algorithm is absolutely shocking (sort it out, Zuckerberg!) but I find my self scrolling through hundreds of images that I know come from a community I have curated, full of joy and positivity.

I’m not saying that you should only have accounts on your Instagram that are butterflies and sunshine. I follow several accounts that are political but they also have a feed that empowers and strengthens rather than deflates and disappoints. For me, it’s about that balance.

My top fashion:

I’ve written about Unlucky Lingerie before. Their lingerie is phenomenal. They cater to a diverse size range and have a philosophy that celebrates bodies by providing the most glorious lingerie. I have the Lana Robe and it brings tears to my eyes how beautiful it is!

I’m sure we’re all aware of how groundbreaking Rihanna’s make-up line is. Nothing but pure self-love from Fenty’s Instagram account. It is continuing to teach the masses how to be self accepting and the importance of self expression!

I’ve also written about my love for Christian Siriano before. Siriano is an ally of the feel-good-wear-what-you-want movement! Happiness is red carpet gown worn by someone who you can actually relate to.

My top artists:

Full of roly-poly goodness, Dublin based artist Tara O Brien uses the most delicious colours to create stunning illustrations. Otherworldly and delicate, whenever Tara posts it’s a pure delight.

 

A pioneer in poetry and illustration, The Mel Gaze is the brain child of Mel Clarke. Sex positive, frank and witty, Mel uses black and white illustrations mingled with words that we can all relate to. Deeply lovely and descriptive, Mel’s zine is a treat. Mel’s account is private so I can’t show you any of her work but trust me: she is more than worth a follow!

“Illustrating the bits and shapes we’re told to hide” – This tagline sums up everything that Pink Bits sets out to do in breath-of-fresh-air fashion. Based in Australia, Pink Bits encourages us to embrace every inch of our bodies as something to be celebrated.

My top cute:

The cat whose facial expression sums up how we all feel inside.

A pig who always looks like he’s smiling.

Can’t have a caffeine crash if you never stop drinking coffee. #BeChewsy @chewsy.shop

A post shared by Hamlet (@hamlet_the_piggy) on

Moustached cat who literally looks like he should be wearing a top hat and monocle.

Still sleepy? Let me sing you the song of my people.

A post shared by Brimley (@brimleycat) on

My top guilty pleasures:

Actor Tommy Lenk recreates fashion editorials and runways looks from trash.

 

Just classic and nostalgic Simpsons stills.

Which accounts do you love to look at on Instagram? Do you love a cuteness overload, or do you thrive on positivity? Is politics your thing when it comes to social media, or is it your place to escape? 

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Top Picks Spring Nightwear list

When looking for nightwear, I basically look for something comfy. I am one of those people who as soon as they get home changes into lounge wear or PJs straight away. I have this routine:

Step 1: Remove jewellery

Step 2: Remove clothing

Step 3: Take off make up and tie my hair up

Step 4: Put on pjs

Step 5: Refuse to leave cocoon of duvets (unless for food)

Recently I have had the BIGGEST struggle with finding a pair of pjs that didn’t need me to set up a credit card to buy. I just wanted some that matched! It really wasn’t the biggest ask, yet finding anything above a size 16 at a reasonable price was incredibly difficult. The irony is I rarely even bother wearing them in bed and I wear them mostly as loungewear anyway.

Spring Nightwear

Breakfast In Bed Sleep Tee

I have this on my saved list currently. I am really coming round to the idea of nightdresses because the style is now a lot more comfortable and you’re not going to have a boob get tangled in a strap. Oversized tee is the way forward!  £18 and up to a size 30!

Grey & Pink Butterfly Print Pyjama Top & Cropped Bottoms

Up to a size 36 and £19 for this cute set! I am a fan of jersey when it comes to pjs. For some reason they’re just easier to be a slob in (you can invest in a pair of silk pjs of course and be a glamorous slob instead).

Breton Stripe Tee & Short Pyjama Set

I’ve had ASOS pjs before and they’re surprisingly long lasting for the price. They’re comfortable, wash really well and they always have cute designs.

Pretty Secrets printed playsuit

Up to a size 34, this is a cute teddy/playsuit. I always size up when it comes to playsuits (whether they’re pjs or clothing) to avoid that struggle of it permanently riding up and waddling like a duck.

Grey Crown Swan Print Short Nightdress

Only £10 and still up to a size 28 left! Bargain that can be teamed with pj bottoms/joggers if you’re feeling a chill.

Pretty Secrets motif nightie

Up to a size 34 and only £10! Pretty much in love with this motif as well.

Pretty Secrets three-quarter sleeve pyjamas

PJ version of the cute nightie above, also only £10.

It might start to get too warm for pjs but it wont get too warm for pjs as lounge wear! I’m only comfortable in something cotton inside the house when it’s sweltering. Of course, we’re in February and it’s currently closer to winter in the arctic than it is to spring in the UK. There is nothing wrong with being prepared, however!

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Practice some self-preservation: Don’t rewatch Friends!

It’s safe to say that some Friends jokes haven’t aged well in the 14 years since it ended. In included everything from homophobia (remember when Ross was so uncomfortable with a male Nanny he wanted to fire him? Or when he didn’t like that his son Ben chose to play with a Barbie doll?) to having less than a handful of POC characters (even though it was set in New York) throughout it’s ten year run, Friends is horrifically problematic.

Can you imagine a show being created now with a character who’s weight is not only a punchline, but an entire-episode-dedicated worthy joke? And it’s brought up in multiple episodes in the entire series run. And it’s the people closest to her that use it constantly as a source of shame. And even on top of that, she is portrayed a stereotype; unclean, obsessed with food, goofy (that word makes me shudder) and only able to have sexual partners/sexual appetite when she has lost the weight. Monica doesn’t even have a personality until she loses weight.

 

Friends taught a generation that is was okay to make fun of someone’s appearance. There is an episode (The One with the Nap Partners) where Monica finds out that Chandler split up with an ex because she gained weight. Monica spends the majority of the episode scared that if she were to gain weight again that Chandler would leave her also. Preteen me would have agreed that this was of genuine concern for a bride-to-be. Adult me is thinking “Dump your man, dump your friends, burn the apartment down and collect the insurance money”.

Is it safe that Friends is now accessible 24/7 again? Having recently been added to Netfilx, part of me wants to relive the nostalgia. On the other hand, I care far too much about myself to spend those 22 mins an ep in a constant state of vein-popping anger. I’m fairly certain for a lot of people out there Friends was the source of and/or heightened their insecurities and it has been given a platform to continue to do so. It doesn’t help that it also oozes white privilege.

I’m aware there is an argument that there are worse TV shows than Friends for these issues. Sure, probably. But Friends was watched by millions of young people not only in the 90s, but the 2000s too when it was on a constant cycle on E4 and is still watched globally. This is recently history, not the 1960s where jokes like this were expected. There is enormous progress being made breaking down the issues that Friends gleefully endorses. There was even a story line where Monica was shamed for how many men she had slept with but it was part of Joey’s personality to sleep with women and never call them back. They all in their own ways objectified women but Joey caused the most harm. Chandler’s father, who is transgender, was a source of embarrassment for the character and was never once treated with respect or as an opportunity to educate the masses. Chandler didn’t even invite her to his wedding initially, he was that ashamed.

Before you go ahead and rewatch, here’s a refresher of just how gross Friends is without you having to experience it and progressively learn for yourself:

It taught men that they must defend their masculinity at all costs

It taught women to not advance their careers if their boyfriends were jealous

It taught women that sexual assault is a punchline

It taught POC that they have no place on a popular show set in one of the most diverse cities in North America (I can only think of two named characters in Friends that were POC: Dr Charlie Wheeler and she wasn’t in it until the ninth series, and Kristen Lang who moved in down the street and caused Joey and Ross to fight over their affections rather than, y’know, respecting that she was capable of making up her own mind)

It taught parents that they must make their children conform to society’s idea of gender and must stick to the strict guidelines of what is means to be “male” or “female” (there’s only two genders according to Friends)

It taught lesbians that their relationships make men feel insecure abut their masculinity

It taught gay men that they make other men insecure about their masculinity (here is a whopping 50 min video of the homophobia in Friends)

It taught fat women that they are comic relief and will only ever been seen as such until they lose weight

 

Sure, it’s okay to re-watch a series that invokes nostalgia. And if you do decide to sit down and have a watch of your old favourite moments, use them as a talking point with your friends about how and why what they are saying is wrong. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the 90s trap and forget that there is so much wrong with your favourite episode of Friends.

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How to Change Your Ableist Vocabulary Part II: Sarcastic Snowflake Edition

We’re almost at the end of 2017 and yet on a regular basis I’m still hearing and seeing ableist vocabulary used in a malicious way – but also in other situations, used in a naive context. I was sat in a pub yesterday near St Paul’s and heard some bloke use the term “retard” to describe a female colleague whom he was criticising. As soon as I caught that word I couldn’t not look up.

These words catch me off guard constantly because I don’t expect to hear them in an average conversation. While there are many words that are obviously offensive, there are plenty that we still struggle to fully remove from our vocabularies because there isn’t a well known awareness of how and why those words are so uncomfortable for some to hear. Like everything, the more we listen to those who suffer because these phrases, the more we can learn and change.

A continuation of my last post on this topic, below are more phrases and words that we can change:

 

“I have a phobia of…” can be changed to “I am afraid/nervous of…” Some people suffer from PTSD because of phobias and are actively working on a daily basis to manage them. It’s a word that needs to be used only in the most serious and genuine context.  No one will judge you if you admit to being afraid or nervous of something and your feelings are valid.

“Snowflake” can be changed to something along the lines of “Your feelings are valid and I’m sorry I hurt them. I will work to be more sensitive about this topic”. But realistically we know that when somebody calls you a snowflake it means “oh crap, you’re right, I’ve got no argument left”.

“This post gave me cancer” can be changed to “I don’t like this post and I’m also a douchebag with no respect for the 38.5% of people that are diagnosed with cancer during their lifetime”

“LOL triggered” etc. – The terms trigger and trigger warning exist for a reason and it’s not to be mocked or taken out of it’s original context. A big middle finger to those who use it as a punchline when people rely on this phrase to be able to feel safe in almost all conversations/situations. It should be of concern to everyone that people can relapse because of a topic, word or image and be taken incredibly seriously.

When anything vaguely pregnancy related is mentioned and the reaction is “Is there something you want to tell me?” MIND YA OWN DAMN REPRODUCTIVE BUSINESS. Me and my polycystic ovaries are tired of people assuming pregnancy is easy (or wanted) for everyone. For some people being pregnant it is not a positive thing and hearing jokes being made about it can have a huge negative effect.

“This post is autistic.” Using autism as an adjective is doing a disservice to autistic people and continues the stereotype that there is something negative about it.

Unbalanced – My mental illness leaves me constantly feeling like I’m experiencing a balancing act. Certain people may be unpredictable arseholes, but don’t go straight to the assumption they must have a mental illness to be able to act in such a way.

“I look deformed!” – Again, another word which shouldn’t be used as an adjective. Do I really need to explain?

“But why can’t you save money? It’s easy!” – Do people realise how hard it can be for those with disabilities to be able to save money? Do they realise how hard it is to attain life goals, including owning a house or a car, when so many of them don’t accommodate disabilities? A lot of resources go on trying to maintain a lifestyle that is as comfortable as possible with the bare minimum assistance from the government.

“Eat more! It’s Christmas, you’re allowed!”/ “You’re having another helping?!” – Coming up to Christmas it’s so important to be conscious of not forcing people to continue eating if they say they’re full or don’t want any more. Eating disorders are incredibly hard not to relapse into and those that suffer from them shouldn’t have to make excuses when they say they don’t want to eat any more food. Nor should they be judged when they’re comfortable and happy with eating more.  Getting to a place where you’re comfortable with your eating habits can be a long and difficult journey. It should not be undone by flippant comments.

 

Can we please also mention how often people are still assuming that disabilities are only visible? And how often even when arranging social occasions people forget to accommodate all possibilities, from social anxiety to disabled access issues? How is this STILL a problem? The media still perpetuates stereotypes that disabled people can’t have hobbies and claim benefits. Here’s an example (and also an amazing thread on the matter) from twitter:

This post has been sponsored by Emily’s chronic muscle condition that makes her feel like she is going to fart all the time.

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Top 8 Christmas Lingerie Picks

lingerie

Tis the season for treating yourself! You mustn’t forget that during this time of year when you’re almost completely focused on others, you deserve to look after yourself. I have made a list of beautiful lingerie that you can either indulge in now, forward on to someone else or keep saved in your favourites for when the January sales hit!

YOURS LONDON Red Mesh & Lace Chemise With Extreme Dip Hem

Size 16-32

I’d be quite happy to wear this to go buy milk if I’m honest. At £26 it’s a good treat for under the tree or something to lounge around like a house cat in.

Scantilly Captivate Slate Half Cup Bra

30-38 DD-H

Bra £47, matching knickers from £23

This set is best wrapped in a box with a giant bow. It demands luxury and it’s lace is stunning.

Elomi Sachi Underwired Plunge Bra

32-46 back, cup size DD to JJ

I am so in love with this set! Elomi are starting to broaden the designs of their lingerie and each new set they bring out is better than the last! Elomi is an investment and they are quite honestly the most comfortable bras I have ever worn.

Pretty Secrets Milly Lace Black Mesh Babydoll

36-48 back, cup size B-E

At £24 (and matching knickers for £8) this is certainly excellent value for money and goes up to an amazing 48 back. It’s a beautiful design and is something a bit special.

Sheer Flared Babydoll Black

Size 8-26, £20.99

Practically perfect in every way. A cute edition to anyone’s slip collection if they are a smaller plus size.

Red Satin Floral Print Underwired Plunge Bra

38-48 back, cup size D-G

Satin. Red. Floral. Need I say more? At £26.99, this bra is something that is pretty but practical.  An everyday bra with a difference and stunning matching suspender briefs for £12.99.

Cherish Side Support Bra – Forest

30-42 back, cup size D-J

This bra has side support, which means giving your boobs more of a boost in the forward facing direction. It exists in seven colours in total which means if you find it really works for you, you don’t just have to buy the same again. Forest is my favourite colour, with blush coming in a close second.

GODDESS Adelaide Banded Underwired Bra

34-46 back, cup size G-L

Vintage inspired designs and modern colours are my favourite combination. This is a versatile and easy-to-wear bra that is beautifully classic.

Which pieces will be at the top of your Christmas list? Let us know in the comments!

 

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Christian Siriano

Not only does Christian Siriano know how to dress women of all sizes, he knows how to do it with respect.

Siriano’s career began on Project Runway in 2008 and since then he has dressed everyone from Rihanna to Christina Hendricks to Solange Knowles. His Spring 2018 ready-to-wear collection at New York Fashion Week included plus size models.

While (of course) there wasn’t exactly a model who I could look at and think “That’s me!” he certainly celebrates more than one plus size body type through his clients and on his social media. Representation of plus size women still has a long way to go in high fashion. For a start, designers need to actually start catering to that demographic and then begin to show them on the runway.

Bringing the glamour tonight!! #lesliejones so chic in custom Siriano. #Emmys @bmcstylez

A post shared by Christian Siriano (@csiriano) on

I like to think of Siriano as an ally to not only celebrities that are being refused dresses by fatphobic designers, but also the average woman who are unable to picture themselves in the gowns seen on red carpets. By dressing these women, Siriano is showing an attitude which is taboo amongst a massive amount of designers. The problem is many high fashion magazines and designers can see plus size women as a social statement, as “in vogue” or an accessory for a fashion shoot and choose to represent us in a way we’re not always comfortable with. Siriano has never used us in an exploitative way. That is where the respect comes from. He believes we deserve better and isn’t scared to show that through his clothing.

My favourite thing about Christian Siriano is I look at his designs, whether it’s on a mannequin, Christina Hendricks or a size 4 model: I can see myself in his clothes. I will never look at his designs and think “This will never be me” or “I don’t exist in this scenario”. He see’s beauty in everyone and represents that through the way he dresses them.

Today feels like a pocket kind of day! #weddingwednesday #christiansirianobridal

A post shared by Christian Siriano (@csiriano) on

Can I just point out too, he knows what women want. The above dress has pockets. POCKETS. This guy is a genius incorporating pockets into a huge ombre-pink skirt and it’s still high fashion.

Danielle Brooks has become a force to be reckoned with in terms of fashion and bopo campaigns. She is a close friend of Siriano’s and I truly feel that her association with him cements his body positive point-of-view.

I think one of the reasons I adore his designs and himself so much is because he doesn’t treat the occurrence of a plus size woman on a runway as “unusual” or “different”. He knows that we have always belonged there and that his designs transcend size, shape, race and age.

I’m crossing my fingers that Christian Siriano does a high street collab and produces some affordable clothes in a massive range of sizes. He has got the potential to become one of the first international plus size, high fashion designers.

 

 

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