Debz

Debz

Passionate about plus size clothing and having clothes to fit all. Fat positive, body positive and generally a fan of loving the skin you're in.

Posts by this author:

Afternoon Tea with Topsy Curvy

I have been a massive fan of Topsy Curvy since they first launched a few years ago and it’s been really wonderful to watch the brand grow and improve what they offer. I know when they first started Jo wanted to have her own fashion line, offering clothes up to a size 32 and beyond where possible and when I first visited their shop in Manchester a few years ago, I knew she would make it happen!

Rail of bright, colourful, and different prints from topsy curvy

Rail of bright, colourful, and different prints from topsy curvy

topsy curvy new bag range on display

topsy curvy new bag range on display

A while ago Topsy Curvy announced that they would be joining Lovedrobe, which would give the brand exactly what they needed to grow! Jo and I have talked about her dream to have a proper blogger event for so long and last week it happened – and it was great!

What I love and have always loved about Topsy Curvy is their honest approach to clothing – they photograph themselves wearing the clothing, they’ll tell you whether you need to size up or down and they’re so keen to have something for everyone. Both Jo and Nat have slightly alternative styles and this shows through in the stuff that they design for the brand!

As you’ll see from the photos, they have some really fantastic stuff in the pipeline. I love that they had both Topsy Curvy and other Lovedrobe brands there, as it gave us a chance to see everything up close. Jo and I often talk about her dream to have everything in a size 32, and the fact she knows the brand is not quite there yet – but I know she will make it happen. Being able to see the clothing “in real life” means that I can check the material and how stretchy it is – which allows me to see if I can size down or not!

All in all, as you’ll see from the pics I had a fantastic time and they did us proud with the first ever blogger event they hosted. This brand really is going from strength to strength and I can’t wait to see what else they have in store!

Have you bought anything from Topsy Curvy lately?

Follow:
Share:

Shopping Online For Plus Size Men’s Suits

Shopping for pretty dresses?  I got it in the bag! Searching for plus size men’s suits? I definitely need some guidance.

This will come as a surprise to many of you, but when it comes to male fashion I am far from an expert. In fact, when it comes to plus size men’s fashion, I know even less! However, as someone dedicated to the cause of fat fashion, I thought I would take a little look to see what is out there. I know, that much like female plus size fashion the options for shopping are much more abundant online, however research has show me that actually places exclusively high street such as Primark, do have lots of options in large mens sizes. In fact, there are many plus size fashionistas that shop the men’s section for clothing – and rightly so! Although clothing is labelled as genders for ease of being able to shop, I’m all for those wearing what they want, when and how they want it.

High Street Fashion

What I was pleased to see is that many of the brands I shop with, have brands tailored towards men too! Yours Clothing reasonably recently launched Bad Rhino and Simply Be have had Jacamo for a while. The Simply Be shops I have visited have always had a Jacamo attached to them, but I have yet to see a Bad Rhino shop – perhaps that is something that will happen in the future?

What I liked about both of these brands is that they offer everyday items similar to what you would see on the high street. Simple items like jeans and a t-shirt might seem really basic, but if you’re unable to buy them in straight sizes then brands like this can be a lifesaver. Not only that, but they also offer dressier options too, all at different price points.

Plus Size Men's Suits

Plus Size Men’s Suit close up

Fitted Clothing

When I started to look into more tailored clothing, I did find that there were slightly less options – but that matches what is currently available in female fashion. However, there were lots of options out there you just need to know where to look. For example, if you want a plus size suit up to a size 62″ chest then the website Suits Men is a great choice, as they have loads! Now, I should point out here that I am no expert when it comes to dressing a male body so make sure you check measurements and get something that fits you well. I know for me, wearing something ill-fitting is a nightmare, so I can’t see men’s clothing being any different. There are tonnes of guides on how to measure for a suit, and I’m sure if you pop them an email they’ll be able to help too.

Do you have any tips for dressing well as a plus size man? I’d love to hear them!

 

Follow:
This post is a collaboration.
Share:

Why I Love Fat Positive Events

A good few years ago, I discovered plus size dating websites and the notion that there were websites out there designed for people who had a preference for fat bodies. I thought these websites were great and they opened up a whole new world of dating for myself.

Not long after this I found out that there were also fat positive nights out and other meet-up events. Closed mindedly, I stubbornly thought I didn’t need any special events to attend just because of my size. In my mind, if I wanted a night out, I could go on one anytime – why would I need something special for this?

Fast forward to 2018 and I pretty much attend every single fat and body positive event there is, and there are many! I have to tell you, these events are so uplifting and amazing and if you haven’t tried something like this – please do!

Why I Love Fat Positive Events

Nights Out

There are a number of different body positive nights out that I have attended, my favourite being Club Indulge. It is very much a body positive event, however the emphasis on it being fat positive really shines through. It is a club night in London run by a wonderful lady called Miranda. Every time I have been, I’ve met fabulous fat women to share jägerbombs with and had a marvellous time! So much so that I’ll be attending their 2nd annual weekender event later this year and I would recommend it to anyone.

Clothes Swaps

I discovered fat clothes swaps when I lived in London, but I have been to events in The Midlands and The North too. Although these concentrate very much on being clothes swaps, they’re happy for people who need them to come along and get help too. We all know that fat clothing isn’t as accessible to everyone as it should be, so these events are all about giving a little back! Usually there is decent cake and there is always amazing company so I would highly recommend.

Fashion Events

There have been a number of plus size fashion events that have come and gone over the years. They have all given something a little different to the community so I couldn’t choose a favourite. The one that probably gives a little bit of something for everyone is The Curve Fashion Festival, which is having its 3rd event this year in Liverpool. The event in the past has had a great community feel with catwalks, stalls to browse, and a few new brands to discover all under one roof.

Fat Positive Events

To be honest, there are so many events, it’s hard to talk about them all. London has plenty of fat positive talks and discussions, there are meet ups arranged via plus size Facebook groups, shopping trips arranged with groups of bloggers and so much more. I know that it can be really daunting to attend your first one – but I promise you it is worth it!

You’ll get to meet some amazing people and be reminded that you are not alone living in a fat body. You’ll be inspired by fashion, discover new people to follow online, and if you’re anything like me, leave with a bit of a spring in your step.

Remember, everyone who attends has had to attend their first ever first event and then they have come back for more! Next time you see an event you can get to, why not go along? What do you have to lose?

Follow:
Share:

Surviving Diet Talk In The Office

*Before you read this post, please note it will make note of diet talk and weight loss, but very much in the way that you shouldn’t buy into these, and how to survive in a culture where they are prominent. However, should that talk not be for you, we have so many more fabulous posts for you to read while you’re here*

 

diet talk

Weight-loss talk is everywhere isn’t it? This is why I relish publications like She Might Be for giving me a break from it, and why I love the chance to be involved in something so important. That said, as much as my social media is very much a haven away from the fat bashing that main stream media offers, I know that avoiding this talk all of the the time is not always possible!

For some reason offices seem to be a breeding ground for weight loss talk and the encouragement of others to restrict what they’re eating. As someone who actively avoids diet culture this can sometimes feel awkward or upsetting. I wanted to let you know – it can be survived!

You Don’t Have To Lose Weight

One of the biggest things you need to remember is that you do not NEED to lose weight. What people do with their own bodies is their own business and the same goes for you. Just because groups of people around you are choosing to change their body that doesn’t mean you have to. Yes, if you want to be supportive of them that is fine, but never feel as though you are pressured to join in with their choices.

You Are The Only Person Who Lives In Your Body

This rule really does go for everyone – you are the only person who has to live in your body – so you get to chose what you do with it. Try to remember, that this goes for other people too! If someone wants to change their body, that is okay! If someone talks badly about their own body, this is simply their thoughts on their OWN body and not a reflection of how they feel about yours.

I know, sometimes hearing how fat and horrible someone else feels can make me wonder what they think of my body. This is especially hard as I am inevitably larger than they are. However, I have to remind myself that I don’t live in their body, and so I don’t know how they feel about it – and if they feel that way about their own body, I’m not really in a position to change their mind.

Say Your Piece, Or Don’t

It is really easy for me to say that you should tell people to shut up and that you don’t want to listen to it, but I know it’s easier said than done. I am lucky in that most people know I’m a plus size blogger, so realise that diet talk doesn’t interest me. I don’t get asked when I’ll be doing the same, or if I want to go to the gym etc. If you feel brave enough then usually a couple of times reiterating that you’re not interested in losing weight, or that you’re happy that they go to the gym but you have no interest in making your body smaller will ensure people know where you stand and will stop inviting you along.  However, if you’re not ready for that level of confrontation that’s okay too – just simply decline their invites and they’ll soon get bored of asking you!

Counteract Diet Talk

Let’s be honest, diet talk is unavoidable so we’re always going to be in a position where we have to listen to this sometimes. So outside of work, I make sure that my media is as fat positive as possible. I have an Instagram full of body positive influences, a Twitter packed with fat bloggers and of course, places such as She Might Be where I can read some amazing content.

The truth is that we all have to find our own ways to survive and work out what gets us through. Just remember that your worth is NEVER based on the size of your body and that you are NEVER obligated to change the way you look. You are brilliant, amazing and valid just the way you are. Someone else changing their own body is no reflection on you – carry on being as fat and brilliant as you are. I know I will be!

Follow:
Share:

Hints and Tips For Surviving Online Dating

As a single, 35 year old fat woman it is safe to say I have my own fair share of experiences with online dating. Thanks to the growth in popularity of social media, we’re now using dating websites more than ever. I remember when I was much younger people would often be ashamed to say that they had met online and would want to fabricate meeting stories to tell other people.

In 2018 we’re much more open minded when it comes to dating online so this is less likely to happen. I have some fantastic online dating stories, and of course some interesting ones – so you do need to go in with open eyes and an open mind, but ultimately what do you have to lose?

Online Dating

Choosing a Website To Join

When it comes to meeting new people I’ve probably tried every online dating website going, and I like that there is a mixture of websites out there – so there is something for everyone. I am probably more a Plenty of Fish dater than I am a Tinder user, but the fact there is something for all types of dating is really good. I have to be honest and say that I lean more towards plus size dating websites for myself, but I realise that is very much a personal preference. I’m very happy to date someone that likes my body, because I like it – so joining a website geared towards those with a preference for fat bodies suits me. That said, I realise that this isn’t for everyone – the good thing about there being so many online dating choices is that there is something for everyone, no matter the type of dating you want to do.

Setting Up a Profile

Personally, in my profile I mention a couple of times my size and make sure that I have full length photos. That isn’t to put people off as such, but at the end of the day the size of my body isn’t something that can be avoided so I want to make sure anyone going on a date with me, knows what they are getting in to. I’m not ashamed of my body, so I definitely don’t want to get into dating someone that may be – so I set the tone of this from the start.

Getting Out There

One of the best parts of online dating for me is getting out there and meeting new people. A couple of drinks with a new person to make conversation with can make for a fun evening. Of course, always be safe – tell someone where you are going, when you are home etc. If I am totally honest I always plan an escape route too. This isn’t because I think I will feel unsafe, but I need to know if I want to leave I can. If we’re doing dating confessions then yes! I have been that person that goes to the toilet on a date and not come back. In my defence, I was much younger then and I wouldn’t do that now.

It is easy to get through online dating, you just have to be prepared to sift through lots of nonsense, and possibly rude messages. You’ll get offers of casual sex on a regular basis and people who won’t take no for an answer. However, what you’ll also get if you invest some time in it is some fun dates and the possibility of meeting your future significant other – why wouldn’t you give it a go?

 

Follow:
Share:

Surviving Valentine’s Day Alone

Once January is out of the way, it feels like we can’t move without someone gushing over their romantic plans or some magazine telling us we should be making arrangements for the big day. As a girl that will be spending Valentine’s Day alone, I wanted to tell you – it’s okay!

Why Is Valentine’s Day So Important?

To me, whether or not I am in a relationship – Valentine’s Day is all a bit commercial. Of course, it would be nice to wake up to breakfast in bed or 12 red roses being delivered, but I would love those any day not just on February 14th! I feel like anything that we get on that day can feel forced, like we’re obligated to confess our love for people on this day – when really we would do that on any other day if we really wanted to.

Valentine's Day

Spending The Day Alone

Spending Valentine’s Day without a significant other is absolutely okay and if anyone makes you feel differently, they are wrong! Why not use this day to take part in some self care and spend time looking after yourself? You can even treat yourself to something new!

There are so many different ways that we can treat ourselves on the 14th, without the need for a loved one to treat us. I think on the evening of Valentine’s Day I’ll cook my self a really nice dinner, and maybe even have a few hours of face and hair masks and then an early night. So often we’re taught to rely on other people to treat us well, but why not treat ourselves?

Celebrating Love

The idea behind Valentine’s Day is to show people that we love them – so why not tell your friends and family too? At work we’re doing a present swap (secret Santa style) and a friend of mine will be swapping presents with me too. I’ll try and use social media to spread a bit of love as well!

More often than not we’re perfectly okay with spending Valentine’s Day alone, until we start to read in main stream media that we should be spending it being wined and dined. Trust me, it isn’t true. Spend the day however you choose and don’t let anyone tell you that you are wrong!

Follow:
Share:

Plus Size Brands: It’s Okay For #Everybody To Demand More

Have you seen the recent #EveryBODY online campaign? It really has got me thinking…

If you read my social media, I am definitely in danger of being known as an angry fat woman, but I really can’t help it. I remember many years ago when I first discovered plus size fashion and I was grateful that I could finally start to wear the type of clothing I wanted to. As much as I was really happy to have these new found fashion choices, I feel sad when I think back to the feeling of being grateful. Clothing is something that is so fundamental to our lives, why should we feel grateful that someone wants to cater to us?

#Everybody

Demanding More

Now-a-days I know that my body is just as important as anyone else’s and that my money is worth just as much. So whilst I love that many brands want my money I refuse to keep quiet when brands don’t. I do accept that for many brands it isn’t feasible to cater to every size, and I am not going to start shouting on social media to all of these – but if you claim to cater to everyone, then you HAVE TO understand that people won’t accept it when you actually don’t.

#EveryBODY

Although Elvi aren’t the only brand to do this, their latest campaign really has got my blood boiling. Without a doubt, offering clothes in sizes 8 to 28 is fantastic, and I am really happy to hear they have extended their sizes to cater for MORE people. However, to claim they cater to EVERYBODY is really misleading and actually excludes so many people.

Many of their advertisements surrounding this campaign talk about women being entitled to fashion, no matter their size. Here at She Might Be, that is something we’re really passionate about!

Personally, I agree with Elvi wholeheartedly – but then when I cannot buy clothing from Elvi because of my size, they have completely gone back on what they have promised.

Telling Brands You Don’t Agree

I have to give credit where it is due, some of the images Elvi have used are beautiful and diverse, which is great to see. However, despite all of their beautiful images and strong images, they do not cater for everybody and it makes me angry that they claim to do so! They have done ranges before really well, but they always lack the size ranges I would like to see!

Thanks to social media, we have a voice now and I intend to keep on using mine! There are many people excluded by this new Elvi range, despite them claiming to be “Inclusive and not Exclusive”. I will keep using my voice to tell brands what I disagree with, and I think you should too!

Brands – If you’re going to claim to cater to #EveryBODY, please make sure you actually do!

 

Follow:
Share:

Dealing With The Festive Season

Christmas is great isn’t it? Well, at least that is what everyone tells you! Actually though, the underlying thing is that everyone gets a little bit stressed, everyone worries about how they’re going to find enough money to afford it and everyone stresses over what they’re going to wear. Remember, the festive season is to be enjoyed and you deserve a nice Christmas.

festive season

It is easy to get wrapped up in how everyone else celebrates the festive season and feel as though you’re not doing good enough. You and the people that are celebrating with you are the only people who matter, so concentrate on that.

festive season

This time of year is a really good opportunity to remind yourself that social media is only people’s highlights. They’re not going to Instagram their raw turkey or the presents they haven’t yet had time to wrap. So while it might seem all sparkle and tinsel online, remember that behind the scenes it might not be like that.

festive season

It is really easy to get stressed about not doing, or buying, enough. However, you literally can only do what you’re able to do. It sounds corny but it really is about presence and not presents. If you’re unable to spend hundreds of pounds on presents or posh food that is perfectly okay.

festive season

We feel such pressure to look like a giant Christmas bauble in our brand new Christmas party purchase. However, it is perfectly acceptable to wear something you already own, or something that isn’t a dress. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable and wear something that you like.

festive season

If you don’t feel like going out to a big Christmas party why not have your own? You can ask everyone to bring a little something with them, play some Christmas music in the background and have a lovely catch up. It will leave you feeling all festive, without the massive dent in your bank balance.

festive season

If you are spending Christmas alone then make sure you check out the #joinin hashtag on Twitter. This was started by comedian Sara Millican and every year thousands of people tweet their stories of how they are spending the day alone, and there’s support from others too! It is honestly one of the most heart warming twitter trends I have seen.

Remind yourself that you are worthy of a nice time this festive season. You deserve to enjoy yourself, so let yourself do so.

Follow:
Share: