There’s something I’ve been thinking in the last week or so… What is confidence? How do we get it and how do we keep it?
How can we be confident in ourselves, but also in our bodies?
Body confidence as a movement is sweeping the world; reaching across genders, races, cultures, and backgrounds. We are reaching a point in a society that not only are we rebelliously trying to love all that we are, but we are fighting against the oppressive standards that have been holding us back for hundreds of years.
Every day we are dismantling stereotypes about body image and mental health. We are making moves in exploring intersectionality and breaking down the barriers that have kept us from being unified.
The actual definition of confidence is this:
“the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.”
I have been raised to know that faith is the substance of things hoped for with the evidence of things not seen. Therefore, there’s no right way to be confident and the manifestation of it in everyone will be different. But it’s important to know that you are worthy of living your best life, and living it in the fullest way.
Now, don’t get me wrong, there will be days where you won’t feel so confident. It can take years to find personal and practical ways to build up a strong foundation of confidence, and even when you have the strongest of roots, because we are all human, you will of course have times when it feels like your confidence is not at its strongest.
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I know I can be real with you guys and admit that I have been feeling similarly myself. I have my moments where I second guess myself, over analyse, question every single decision I’ve made, feel terrified at the unknown nature of my future, and feel this weird little gremlin running around.
The thing is – gremlin or not – I need, and we all need, to be able to keep learning and growing.
So what are some ways to do this? Here are some of the things I like to do!
- Think POSITIVE – For my stagey sisters out there we all know that moment in Legally Blonde the musical where Elle’s friends become her “GREEK CHORUS”. Sometimes you need to be your own Greek Chorus. When you’re struggling think of 3 things on the spot you can be positive about. There’s always something to celebrate about yourself!
- Get to know yourself – We can go our whole lives being strangers to ourselves, never really taking the time to delve deeper and find out what our strengths and weaknesses are, our likes and dislikes. Take yourself out! The more you know about yourself, the easier it will be start building a more positive self image. There are always ways we limit ourselves, but getting to know yourself will give you ways to work past that. You’ll start to learn how to separate fact from fiction.
- Affirmations – Perhaps this doesn’t work for everyone but it is certainly worth giving it a shot. Positive affirmations are ways of speaking positivity into your life in a practical sense. Put some things about yourself, about your life, things that encourage you and things you are good at down on post it notes and stick them around your room. Surround yourself in life affirming messages so that you are forced to reinforce positive truths about yourself.
- Do something for someone else – We are stronger as a collective than we are as individuals and so sometimes when you invest your time and energy into something or someone else, it helps build up your own. What can you do for someone else? How can you encourage or sure up someone else? When we are open about how we can help one another we not only change each other, but we change ourselves.
- Declutter – My space often reflects my inner state, and so if chaos is surrounding me then chaos is what will be ensuing internally. This is as good a time as any to clear out the cobwebs and get rid of anything you don’t need, and also reflect about if there’s anything or anyone toxic you need to think about removing from your life.
- Get organised – When I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m meant to be, and I’m basically driving a runaway train into procrastination station, I feel somewhat useless. We cant control everything, but we can try and help ourselves out when possible – sometimes that means putting a little bit of organisation into our lives so we can be confident we’re utilising our time.
- Don’t compare – If there’s something that life reminds us of everyday, its that everyone’s journey is different. Our paths and experiences will be different and that’s wonderful because when we come together to share it means we can help each other in different ways: but don’t compare yourself. Just because someone is one place doesn’t mean you are behind or ahead of anyone else. Enjoy your ride, take pride in your journey and let yourself love yourself, as you are, right now.
There is no wrong way to help build confidence in yourself, unless it involves tearing other people down, in which case you’re not building any real or lasting confidence. So build up yourself, build up others and have faith in yourself.
You are so worth believing in.