We understand that not everyone is in the same place when it comes to self confidence and body positivity, so we asked a few members of the She Might Be team to talk about their own self confidence. It can be a very long journey, even the most confident of people still have blips, but by sharing our experiences and advice we can help each other, raise each other up, and let others know that they’re not alone. Do you relate to any of these bloggers? We’d love to hear about your own self confidence journeys in the comments below!
‘When I left secondary school and went to College, I noticed the little remarks in the corridors from people had completely stopped. I think it was a case of people just being older and more mature so this helped a lot with the day to day, but I’d still hear negative comments about bodies and being fat from the people I would surround myself with. Due to other circumstances I stopped talking to these people after College and started blogging, it was there that I found the plus size blogging community and my world changed completely! Slowly and step by step I went from being surrounded by people who would call me names and bully me, to having messages from younger girls who were struggling saying how they wished they looked like me. I was like a phoenix rising from the flames, I was so ready to be confident and love myself, I just needed that final push to be really open about it.’
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The first step for me was to stop buying fashion magazines. I used to buy a copy every month and hate myself for not looking like the models on the runway or pictures of the street style women looking so sleek and “perfect”. It’s amazing how that one small step helped me feel better about myself almost immediately and that led to me finding the likes of Live Journal and Tumblr for inspiration instead. Even then, I would use search words on Tumblr like “plus size” or “full figured” because I wasn’t ready to use the word fat, but little by little my confidence increased and there was no looking back from that point on. The first step is the most important in anything so it’s important to remember to go at your own pace and that no step is too small.’
‘Yes, this! Recalibrate your mind. I spend so much time now looking at bloggers with a variety of bodies – especially those more like my own – that I’m now much more aware of when I’m confronted with a photoshopped image of an unnaturally slim model.
Whereas before, because that was so common to me, I couldn’t see it for what it was. I thought it was real and achievable, and hated myself for being nowhere near it.’
‘In her book Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls (which you should definitely read because it’s BRILLIANT) Jes Baker shares how changing your social media feed can change your life. This was absolutely the case for me. I followed every plus size blogger/model/person I could find. I started following people who were shaped like me, and I was constantly admiring how beautiful they were. All too often we are our own toughest critic. If we see beauty in those who look like us then it’s easier for us to recognise that we’re beautiful ourselves. The media is constantly bombarding us with two options for women: slim or curvy. On top of that, those slim/curvy women are mostly white, cisgender, and able bodied. By curating a beautifully diverse social media feed we can truly learn to love others, and in turn love ourselves.’
‘For me it got to the point where my mental health was so closely tied to my body that I knew I had to get help to properly face some of the body issues that I had. So I went to my local GP and put myself on the referral list for counselling. It’s long winded and an investment of time but worth it if you’re really struggling and in a low place. Just having someone to talk to and being able to vocalise your pain helps take you so much further. I also had to start stripping myself of all the unhealthy and damaging things I was surrounding myself with, be that movies, music, films, books, people, social media etc
The moment I took the steps to take care of myself and love myself the world changed. It’s not as if it’s perfect and sometimes we all have our days when it’s hard to love ourselves but when you search for your worth and you dare to love yourself…the world is so much brighter.’